Monday, November 28, 2011

TMI Tuesday: November 29, 2011

Fun(ny) Stuff I Heard


1. Finish this thought: Nerds make me ____ ? (idea from PocketRockettz)

ANS: talk dirty.



2. If you were in a beauty pageant, which would be your ticket to the tiara? (heard on the Newlywed Game)
a. Talent
b. Interview
c. Swimsuit
d. Evening wear (i.e., gown, tuxedo)

ANS: Oh, it's a toss up between evening gown and interview. I shall say interview because I like to talk...lol.

3. On your body what is eye candy and what is an eyesore?

ANS: Eye candy--my boobs and ass. Eyesore--my left big toe. I had two major accidents. The first took five years to heal and grow a nice normal nail. Then another accident occurred and that nail was ripped off...Yeooowwwch! Now the nail is dead and ugly. I paint it to hide it.

4. Your penis is starring in a gritty crime drama? Which part would it play?
a. Straight laced detective
b. Hooded criminal
c. Crooked cop

ANS: I don't have a penis but the one I use the most currently would be known as a straight laced detective.

5. Would you rather? (as heard on the Graham Norton Show)
a. Eat dog food for every meal for a year or
b. Get shot in the knee

ANS: Dear Heavens! This is no choice. I think I'll say eat dog food because there is no risk of permanent damage nor is there a long recovery. I would eat something healthy and nutritious such as Wellness 95% salmon. I'd eat wellness bars for snacks. Have you ever smelled those? Yogurt, apples, and bananas. They smell so good :)
6. If you crapped yourself at work what would you do? (This was a poll taken at a blues bar…seriously)
a. Go commando
b. Do nothing
c. Turn ‘em inside out
d. Wash in employee sink

ANS: Throw those panties away, wash in the sink, and go commando. Then rush to the nearest proctologist to find out what the hell is the matter that made me crap on myself :o

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

12 comments:

Singedwingangel said...

My right big toe is the one I did lifetime damage to. I actually got my toe rolled over by a computer chair. The kind with the like lips over the roller so the toe got mashed in it and it killed the nail..I hate that toe.

Cat said...

OUCH!! on the toenail...oh just thought of that makes me shiver..i am so with you on number 4 & 6! who needs panties anyway?! i seldom wear them now..oh TMI! LOL

Drenchxoxo said...

LMFAO @ Then rush to the nearest proctologist to find out what the hell is the matter that made me crap on myself :o

GoodWill said...

Hahaha...to #6, I hadn't thought about it, but a trip to the Doc to figure out what the hell caused this would be in order for me too. Too funny. Love your answer to #1 as well.

You'd be proud, I actually got my TMI answers up on Tuesday this week!

TemptingSweets99 said...

The dog food looks good and healthy, actually.

Jack and Jill said...

We'd love to see you in an evening gown. Or out of an evening gown. Hopefully when Jill begins working as your slave - sorry, your lady-in-waiting - she'll get to see plenty of you.

Jill could relate to your eyesore answer. A student of hers stepped on her toe recently, and it looks pretty awful of late.

Hope you're enjoying your vacation!

-Jack

France said...

Funny pictures! But we girls need a remote for our guys. ;)

V said...

*as she snaps the glove* Looking for a freelance proctologist? Great answers! I just finished watching Mostly Martha on your recommendation. I thought it was very good - I enjoyed it!

Carolina said...

Oh shit, had a weight fall on my toe twice...hahahaha!
#6-LMAOOOOOOO!!!

Hedone said...

@Singedwingedangel: *cringing* I can so relate

@Cat: no panties, eh? Thanks for sharing....now bend over ;-)

@Drenchxoxo: :-) Glad I made you laugh.

@GoodWill: Well, you were Good Will this week by doing your TMI in a timely fashion.

@TS99: It's not white bean pesto sandwich spread :)

@Jack and Jill: *bends to kiss Jill's owwie*

My mistake, I thought her nipple was connected to her toe :D ;-)

@France: Hahaha. Yes, I totally agree about remote conrol for men.

@V: ROFL... I would use your services *wink, wink*

V, I'm so glad that you enjoyed "Mostly Martha". It really is one of my fave movies. I confess this only to you...I used to be a total Type A personality....perfectionist to the hilt...and very much like Martha. I am a recovering (I think mostly recovered) perfectionist. :-)

@Carolina: Yeah, the toe thing is incredibly painful. The first incident bleed under the toe. I didn't realize how serious it was. The second incident I bleed A LOT and all over the steps, the hall, the kitchen. :( :( :(

Thanks for stopping by and reading and or reading/commenting.

-H

gilliancolbert said...

Well worth the read. Had me cracking up by the end!

Cheers!

P.S. All of those holistic dog foods are billed as being human grade. My dogs eat Salmon & Sweet Potato from Nature's Select, fortunately, I don't have to ;-)

Hedone said...

@gilliancolbert: Hi! Glad you enjoyed it.

-H