Fun(ny) Stuff I Heard
1. Finish this thought: Nerds make me ____ ? (idea from PocketRockettz)
ANS: talk dirty.
2. If you were in a beauty pageant, which would be your ticket to the tiara? (heard on the Newlywed Game)
d. Evening wear (i.e., gown, tuxedo)
ANS: Oh, it's a toss up between evening gown and interview. I shall say interview because I like to talk...lol.
3. On your body what is eye candy and what is an eyesore?
ANS: Eye candy--my boobs and ass. Eyesore--my left big toe. I had two major accidents. The first took five years to heal and grow a nice normal nail. Then another accident occurred and that nail was ripped off...Yeooowwwch! Now the nail is dead and ugly. I paint it to hide it.
4. Your penis is starring in a gritty crime drama? Which part would it play?
a. Straight laced detective
b. Hooded criminal
c. Crooked cop
ANS: I don't have a penis but the one I use the most currently would be known as a straight laced detective.
5. Would you rather? (as heard on the Graham Norton Show)
a. Eat dog food for every meal for a year or
b. Get shot in the knee
ANS: Dear Heavens! This is no choice. I think I'll say eat dog food because there is no risk of permanent damage nor is there a long recovery. I would eat something healthy and nutritious such as Wellness 95% salmon. I'd eat wellness bars for snacks. Have you ever smelled those? Yogurt, apples, and bananas. They smell so good :)
6. If you crapped yourself at work what would you do? (This was a poll taken at a blues bar…seriously)
a. Go commando
b. Do nothing
c. Turn ‘em inside out
d. Wash in employee sink
ANS: Throw those panties away, wash in the sink, and go commando. Then rush to the nearest proctologist to find out what the hell is the matter that made me crap on myself :o
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